Short answer: To cultivate a growth mindset in your kids, teach the idea in terms they understand, model “I can improve with practice” language, share your own stories of setbacks, keep your cool in hard moments, treat mistakes as chances to get better, and help them break big challenges into smaller steps. Children learn the most from watching how their parents react.
A growth mindset is the belief that abilities improve with effort and practice. It helps children do better at school and gives them life skills that last.
Key points
- Teach the concept: Define growth and fixed mindsets in terms your child already knows.
- Listen to their words: “I’m not good at math” and “This is hard, but I can improve” signal different mindsets.
- Share your setbacks: Stories of your own failures show how a growth mindset helps you recover.
- Model it: Children copy how you react to difficult situations, so keep your cool.
- Mistakes are okay: Teach kids to say “I’ll try again” and to ask for help.
- Break it down: Splitting hard tasks into smaller ones makes challenges manageable.
How do you set a strong foundation for a growth mindset?
The best first step toward developing a growth mindset in children is to teach the concept. When defining growth and fixed mindsets, use terms that are familiar to them.
Give examples that emphasize the importance of having a growth mindset in school and in life. This way, children can relate and engage in the discussion. They may even discover areas they would like to improve and set goals they want to achieve.
What do growth and fixed mindset statements sound like?
The way children react to a situation can tell whether they have a growth or fixed mindset.
| Situation | Fixed mindset | Growth mindset |
|---|---|---|
| Learning to ride a bike | “I’m not good at biking.” | “I can improve with practice.” |
| A hard math problem | “I’m not good at math.” | “This is hard, but I know I can improve.” |
| Something new | “I can’t.” | “I can.” |
Children with a fixed mindset would often say “I can’t.” They don’t try to improve or learn something new. They feel bad when they see other people’s successes. They give up when things get hard.
Those with a growth mindset, on the other hand, would always say “I can.” They seek help from their parents or tutors to improve. They practice and try to do better. They get inspired when they see successful people. They learn from failures and are not afraid to try new things.
When “I’m not good at math” becomes a long-running story, it can affect confidence well beyond math. Read more on how confidence relates to mathematics.
Tutor tip: When your child says “I’m not good at this,” add one word: “yet.” “I’m not good at fractions yet” turns a fixed statement into a growth one without a lecture.
Why should you share stories of personal growth?
Sharing your personal experiences helps children relate better. It can be about failed job interviews, failed driving tests, or that time when you didn’t get the award you wanted. This can help children reflect on situations that they have experienced on their own.
Hearing these stories also helps them relate it to their experiences at school. This may include failed math tests, not doing well in club activities, or not getting into the honor’s circle.
What’s important in telling these stories is how you reacted to those experiences. Show them how having a growth mindset helped you overcome those challenges. This will inspire them to be more confident when dealing with their problems.
Talk about movie characters they know, like Po from Kung Fu Panda. Watch the movie with your kids and talk about how Po looked at challenges. Ask them to explain how Po faced those challenges. This is a great way to let children recognize the characteristics of a growth mindset.
How do you set an example of growth positivity?
The best way to teach kids about growth positivity is by modeling it. Children respond better to what they see rather than what you tell them. When they see mom and dad doing or saying something, they will imitate it.
Children learn the most from their parents. Be careful when reacting to difficult situations because children are always watching.
For example, keeping your cool when you’re having a bad day at home is a good way to show a positive attitude. But if they see you get frustrated when you don’t finish household chores, they will copy your reaction.
Dealing with problems with your spouse or with the family also sets a very good example for children. Figure out a way to solve them together, and let them know that you will get through them as a family.
Is math where your child says “I can’t”?
A patient one-on-one tutor can turn “I’m not good at math” into “I figured it out,” one problem at a time.
How should you talk about mistakes and setbacks?
In cultivating a growth mindset in kids, it’s important to emphasize that making mistakes is okay. For example, your child had a hard time with their homework or failed an exam. Let them know it can be frustrating sometimes, but that this gives them a chance to be better at it.
Inspire them to say “I’ll do better” or “I’ll try again.” This teaches children how to deal with their negative emotions instead of hiding it. Make sure to encourage them to share their struggles with you. Normalize talking about their experiences, good or bad.
“You never learn to search for what the problem is. Error analysis is very important for growth.”
Jake Gerhardt, Alexander Tutoring math tutor
It’s also important to let your kids know it’s OK to ask for help. They should always feel comfortable talking to you about their struggles in school. For example, seeking help for tricky STEM subjects, such as with math or physics tutoring, can be excellent support.
Tutor tip: After a bad test, sit down together and find the one or two mistakes that cost the most points. Turning “I failed” into “here’s what went wrong and how to fix it” is a growth mindset in action.
How do you help kids embrace challenges?
Growth mindset is all about embracing challenges and learning from them. When faced with a difficult homework or task, talk about the ways they could solve it. Show them how they can learn from it. This develops their critical thinking and problem-solving skills. Try the following steps:
- Offer tips when your kid is feeling overwhelmed.
- Encourage them to break down difficult tasks into smaller ones.
- Teach them how to be more organized so they can keep track of their accomplishments.
If they failed, tell them how they could learn from it so they can do better next time. Let them know their failures aren’t permanent. Remind them that there are no shortcuts to their goals and their hard work makes it worth it.
If a bad experience has already made your child dread a subject, see how to reverse the effects of math trauma.
Why does a growth mindset matter?
Having a growth mindset doesn’t only help your children do better at school; it also equips them with important life skills. They can achieve their goals if they work hard and keep a positive attitude. These are all important ingredients to their future happiness and success.
Developing a growth mindset in kids is a challenge in itself. But as a parent who wants to nurture this positive mentality in their children, tell yourself, “I can do this!”
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Frequently asked questions
What is the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset?
A child with a fixed mindset says “I can’t,” gives up when things get hard and feels bad about other people’s successes. A child with a growth mindset says “I can,” practices, seeks help, learns from failures and is inspired by successful people.
How do I teach my child about a growth mindset?
Start by explaining growth and fixed mindsets in terms your child already knows, with examples from school and everyday life. Then share your own stories of setbacks and talk about characters, like Po from Kung Fu Panda, who keep trying when things get hard.
How can parents model a growth mindset?
Children copy what they see, so stay calm in difficult situations, react to setbacks by trying again, and solve family problems together. How you react matters more than what you tell them.
How should I respond when my child fails a test?
Let them know it is frustrating but that it is a chance to get better. Encourage them to say “I’ll try again,” talk through what went wrong, and remind them it’s okay to ask for help.
How can kids handle challenges that feel overwhelming?
Offer tips when they feel overwhelmed, help them break difficult tasks into smaller ones, and teach them to stay organized so they can see their progress. Remind them that failures aren’t permanent.
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