Stress Management Techniques for Parents of School-Age Children

Checklist of stress management techniques for parents: leave work stress at the door, rank your to-do list and do the top five, ask for help with homework, get outside and exercise, and take breaks with and without your kids.

Short answer: Parents can manage stress by not bringing work stress home, taking time to relax and recharge, clearing their minds with a ranked daily list, asking for help, talking with other parents, getting outside, exercising, keeping a balanced schedule, and taking regular breaks every day, week and year, both with and without their children.

Stress management techniques for parents are simple yet profound. Parenting is its own stress, and children have their own issues without carrying yours as well.

Key points

  • Leave work at work: Talk to a friend or counselor instead of unloading on your kids.
  • Decompress daily: Deep breaths in the driveway and a calm routine before bed.
  • Rank your list: Focus on the five most important tasks and drop the rest.
  • Ask for help: Tutors, teachers, neighbors and friends can lighten the load.
  • Move and get outside: Exercise and time in nature lift mood and ease anxiety.
  • Protect your balance: Avoid over-scheduling and take real breaks.

How do you avoid bringing work stress home?

Your work gives you a lot to think about. You have to meet deadlines, handle clients, and satisfy your boss and co-workers.

When people get home, they tend to off-load. They want to talk about what they’re going through, so they talk to their kids. That’s natural, but many people are not aware of how parents’ stress can hurt a child. Children have their own issues, and they do not have the emotional maturity to handle your baggage.

Talk to a friend instead. If possible, talk to your friend face-to-face.

95 percent of people find face-to-face interactions crucial to forming long-lasting relationships. You can read each other’s expressions better and you can feel more open to discuss personal topics.

If you’re not comfortable with talking to a friend, talk to a counselor or therapist. This is a great option for people who need solutions to their stress. A counselor can give you strategies for anger management or developing self-esteem.

You can go somewhere else after work. You can sit in a coffee shop and give yourself some time to think. You can go on a drive, viewing new sights that can inspire you and take your mind off your stress.

Avoid working at home. If you must, designate a space for you to work in. It should be independent of your bedroom and living area.

How can parents relax and recharge?

It is absolutely essential to decompress after work. Stress hormones impact the body in a number of ways, including making your heart pump faster. This can raise your blood pressure and increase the risk of a heart attack.

Parenting is its own stress. There are times when being with your child will help you. But you do need time to relax independently of your child.

When you pull into your driveway, park the car and sit for a moment. Take a deep breath. Tell yourself that you are in an environment where you can relax.

Deep breathing sounds unsophisticated, but it can have a real impact on your body. It supplies more oxygen to your blood, changing its pH levels. This can reduce your blood pressure, canceling out the effects of stress.

When you’re in your room at night, don’t go to bed right away. Read a book, write something in a journal, or pray and meditate. This can let you come up with what you want to do tomorrow. This can also help you ease into sleep, letting you wake up feeling more recharged.

Tutor tip: Pick one fixed transition between work and home, like five deep breaths before you get out of the car. A small, repeatable ritual is easier to keep than a big plan.

How can you clear your mind when you’re stressed?

When many people feel stressed, they think about their stress. Everything else on their itinerary falls to the side. Deadlines and personal relationships get missed, which only adds to the stress.

Mental clarity is incredibly important. You cannot do everything at once. But clarity helps you decide what to do now and how you can go about doing it.

  1. Write a list every morning. Include what you want to do, from work responsibilities to personal care duties like shopping for groceries.
  2. Rank each entry. Once you have everything written out, rank each entry. Then read your list over again.
  3. Question the bottom of the list. Ask yourself if these tasks are that important to you, or if you need them done today. If they are non-essential, clear them from your head.
  4. Do the top five in order. Focus your attention on the five most important tasks. Get them done in order of importance, then move on.

Consider integrating mindfulness into your life. Develop your attention to the present, and try to avoid thinking about the past or the future. Meditation can help: sit down on the ground and cross your legs, close your eyes and focus inward on your breathing.

Is it okay to ask for help?

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. You are not weak, and your child will not feel you are abandoning them. If anything, your child will appreciate that you are getting them help.

If your child is experiencing academic problems, remain in touch with their teachers by attending parent-teacher conferences. If you are not knowledgeable about your child’s subjects in school, outsource academics. Tutors can provide expertise and individualized methods that help your child learn better.

You can get help for your children, even if they have a learning disability. Understand the different types of learning disabilities, then reach out to an aide. There are many tools and platforms designed to help children with disabilities find academic success, including those that support distance learning.

You can outsource cleaning and groceries. You can hire a maid, or you can ask a neighbor or friend for help. You can also outsource food preparation. Hire someone who can prepare a quick meal for you and your child. Try to avoid ordering take-out, which can contain a high amount of fat and sodium.

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Why should you talk with other parents?

You are not alone, even when your child presents unique challenges. Talking with other parents can be a real boost.

Human beings are social creatures. Friendships cheer us up and engage us in other people’s perspectives. Each person can learn new ways and find new resources to solve their problems.

Build up trust with other parents. Allow your child and their child to interact with each other. While they’re playing, have a conversation with the parents.

During your first conversations with them, touch on a few different topics. Talk about your child’s performance in school, your personal life, and what’s on the news. This lets you assess what you can bring to that person’s attention.

Have a few different people in your life that you can go to on different issues. You can talk to multiple people about your child’s time in school. But try to have one person that you can engage in a deep conversation about schooling.

If you don’t feel you can trust a certain parent, don’t talk to them. You are under no obligation to interact with them, even if your child is friends with theirs.

How does getting outside help with stress?

Getting outside has several distinct health benefits. It can improve short-term memory and reduce anxiety.

Go to a nature preserve or park every week. If possible, go every day. Go for a walk or jog during any part of the day.

Consider bringing your child. Going outside has the same benefits for children. This is a great way to interact with them that doesn’t involve spending money. Bring a book of flowers or birds. Give your child the book and ask them to point out something that they find.

How does exercise reduce stress?

We all know that exercise is important for the body. But it also helps the mind. When the body is exercising, the brain releases endorphins. These are chemicals that relieve stress, reduce pain, and make the mind feel lighter.

You should exercise for at least one hour every day. Ride a treadmill, jog, or swim. Combine cardiovascular workouts with weight training. This will increase your endurance, so you can work for longer periods.

How do you find balance as a busy parent?

If you are juggling too many responsibilities, you will feel stressed out. Pursuing a balanced life lets you get to what you need to do. You will feel less overwhelmed and more responsible.

Do not over-schedule your week or month. Everything that you can avoid doing, you should avoid doing. Adding too much to your schedule will prevent you from getting to everything, increasing your stress.

Do not work too much. There is no good reason to work past 5:00 pm or on weekends. Overtime gives you a short-term reward of money, but in the long run, it will drain you.

Do not pursue too many hobbies. Attending a book club, knitting, and taking classes will all drain you. Pick one hobby that you like doing and focus on that.

If you want some free time in the summer, sign your child up for summer intensive math tutoring. This will keep them busy so you can pursue other things.

Tutor tip: Look at next week’s calendar every Sunday and cross off one commitment you can skip. Fewer obligations is the fastest stress cut most families have.

Why should parents take regular breaks?

Give yourself time to get away from your responsibilities entirely. Give yourself a break every day. Go out to a movie, take your partner out for a date, and head to a museum.

Have some time on weekends for a break. Head out to the countryside and spend the day on a nature hike.

Take at least one week off from work every year. Fly to another part of the country, or leave the country entirely. Enrich your sense of the world, and you can come up with new ideas.

You should get away from your child, if only for a couple of hours. But feel free to take a break with them. Going on a vacation and experiencing other cultures are two great steps to help the child cope with stress.

What are the essential stress management techniques for parents?

Avoid bringing stress home by spending time somewhere else. Recharge in your bed by reading or praying. Clear your mind through an itinerary. Get help, including from other parents. Go into nature and do some exercise to get endorphins flowing.

Seek a balance in your life without over-scheduling. Take breaks every day, week, and year, with and without your child.

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Frequently asked questions

Should parents talk to their kids about work stress?

It is better not to unload work stress on your children, who do not have the emotional maturity to handle it. Talk to a friend face-to-face, or to a counselor or therapist, instead.

What is a quick way for parents to decompress after work?

When you pull into your driveway, park and sit for a moment, take a deep breath and remind yourself you are somewhere you can relax. At night, read, journal, pray or meditate before going to sleep.

How can a to-do list reduce stress?

Write everything down each morning, rank it, drop the non-essential items at the bottom, and work through the five most important tasks in order. Clarity about what to do now keeps stress from crowding out everything else.

Is it okay for parents to get outside help?

Yes. Stay in touch with teachers, use tutors for subjects you are not comfortable with, and outsource cleaning, groceries or meal preparation where you can. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

How often should parents take a break?

Take a short break every day, some time off on weekends, and at least one week away from work every year. Plan some breaks away from your child and some with them.

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Author

  • Sean alexander

    Sean Alexander holds a B.S. in Physics from UC Santa Barbara and an M.S. in Physics from San Francisco State University. He has taught math, physics and astronomy at every level since 2004 — from advanced physics at Stanford to a high school serving students with severe learning differences, including ADHD, dyscalculia and autism. He founded Alexander Tutoring in 2009 to reveal the deep connections between math and nature to as many students as possible. Connect with Sean on LinkedIn.

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